What is trauma?
Disturbing experiences either as an adult or child, result in trauma when they’re overwhelming, difficult to escape, and seriously threaten our physical, emotional, and psychological safety.
There's a difference between trauma experienced as a single event and that which is ongoing and repeated over a longer period. The latter is referred to as complex trauma or complex PTSD. But both types are caused by an inability to act and prevent being exposed to the traumatic event(s), followed by a lack of support e.g. not being believed.
A long time ago, staying in tribes and remaining vigilant to threats from predators ensured human survival. Our minds and bodies have evolved to escape from threats to our safety (e.g. the sabre-toothed tiger) by running away or fighting if we can.
But what if there is no hope of active resistance? In this situation our bodies freeze or submit, and our minds protect us by dissociating from what’s happening. Or we might fawn, by trying to appease the threat in some way.
Yet without the support, comfort, and care that allows us to return to safety, we’re at risk of becoming traumatised.
I recently did some training with renowned trauma specialist Bessel van der Kolk, who told the story of how people running away from the Twin Towers on 9-11, not only escaped the event (by running) but avoided being traumatised through support. That is, their loved ones provided care and a safe loving environment needed to process what happened.
Role of attachment
This brings me to the crucial role of attachment because, as humans, we’re wired to seek comfort and connection through our relationships with others. And we regulate ourselves emotionally through soothing voices and faces, which calm our nervous systems.
But while attachment provides support, it can also be a source of terror. Abuse and neglect of children represents a grotesque failure, betrayal, and exploitation of the attachment relationship.
Because a child is unable to reconcile that the source of care and comfort is also hurting them, the truth must be denied so they can maintain their attachment and get their basic needs met. This has profound impacts on adult survivors, including those below.
The impacts of trauma
There are common responses to trauma which get stuck in our minds and bodies. It's as if the trauma is still happening and the thing that kept us safe becomes part of our identity, affecting how we show up in life, functioning, and our relationships. For example, pleasing or fawning to survive abuse and neglect as a children can impede our adult relationships.
Common responses to trauma and complex trauma include:
- Alexithymia – inability to know what’s going on inside yourself/your body
- Anger, hostility, and rage
- Feeling anxious, worried, and unsafe in your body, environment, and with others
- Difficultly being emotionally present
- People pleasing, poor boundaries
- Hypervigilance for perceived threats
- Panic attacks
- Intrusive memories, flashbacks
- Feeling emotionally overwhelmed or numb and/or moving between these
- Self-blame and shame
- Suicidal thoughts
- Loss of trust in others and fear of relationships
Trauma and complex trauma are also associated with many psychiatric disorders including, Personality disorders (e.g. borderline personality disorder), PTSD, Anxiety disorders, Dissociative disorders, Depression, Eating disorders, Phobias, OCD, Schizophrenia, Substance dependency. And a range of physical illnesses including, Autoimmune diseases, Chronic fatigue syndrome, Irritable bowel syndrome, Hypertension, and degeneration of brain structures.
Safe trauma therapy
There's no one way to heal from trauma and no one type of therapy that works better than any other. But it's crucial that therapy is trauma-informed and undertaken with your care and safety in mind. I work with trauma differently to general talk therapy because the emphasis is NOT on just talking about the traumatic event or experiences but about helping you to process and cope with its impacts.
As trauma is linked to past events, many people think that we need to focus on talking about the events themselves to process the trauma. But doing this can activate stress responses.
And in high states of distress, the part
of the brain that allows us to distinguish between past and present goes ‘offline’, propelling us back into the trauma.
Babette Rothschild uses the metaphor of learning to apply the brakes before using the accelerator. So, it’s not that traumatic events can never be processed, just that it happens only once we’ve worked on containing emotions i.e. when you feel more equipped to cope with them.
Experiencing trauma increases the need to feel safe and I promote this by providing tools to help you stay in control your emotions, so that you’re able to process trauma while staying in the present.
My approach to trauma therapy also involves:
- Understanding, support, and validation – space to share and help to reflect on and understand your experiences in a safe, validating way that doesn’t re-traumatise you.
- Helping you to improve your relationships with self and others – as trauma affects our ability to trust and connect with others. Therapy can help you to rebuild this trust.
- Healing and post-traumatic growth – this is the ultimate aim of therapy. Therapy can help you to increase your vitality and engagement with the world and find a sense of peace
Conclusion
This blog describes trauma as a disturbing experience or experiences that can happen either as a child, adult or both. In childhood trauma, betrayal of the attachment relationship and the repetitive nature of experience often complicates trauma leading to complex PTSD. There are numerous impacts of trauma and complex trauma, both emotional and physical.
I outline my practice of safe trauma therapy, explaining why healing doesn't require you to relive the trauma.
For more about the role of memory in trauma please read my other blog:
It can feel scary to seek help, but you don’t need to carry this burden alone. Trauma therapy could really help you regain some control over your life. When you feel ready to seek support, please get in touch.