Common myths about therapy continue to pervade. These make seeking support more difficult and scarier than it needs to be.
But what are these myths?
Myth 1: It’s only for the mentally ill…
The association between therapy and mental illness is not surprising, given that we might have sought help through our GP and the NHS. But mental ‘health’ and ‘illness’ are extremes at either end of a continuum.
The reality is that you can be high functioning, mentally well and just need some support to work through stuff. If you do suffer and feel the need for some help, it doesn’t make you mentally ill.
Therapy can benefit everyone.
Yes of course, people with severe issues come to therapy. And otherwise mentally well people needing support, also come to therapy. It’s also just a brilliant form of personal development.
Myth 2: It’s just listening…
Have you ever regretted sharing a struggle with a well-meaning friend or family member?
Maybe you were interrupted. Perhaps they were supportive but there wasn’t time to explore (life got in the way!). Or they gave you advice, saying you “should do X, Y or Z” … Even worse, perhaps you were shut down with a meaningless platitude like “this too shall pass” or “be positive”.
A common thread runs through all these scenarios – you were listened to but not really heard.
In everyday life it’s rare for people to listen to you. I mean really listen, by working to understand things from your point of view. That’s what therapy offers.
Myth 3: It’s just talking…
How often do you have conversations where you can be vulnerable and open without worrying about being judged or shamed? And, how common is it for the person you’re talking to, to be open and honest in their response to you?
Sometimes we take risks by challenging you and don’t always get it right…
But part of our professional obligation is to consistently reflect on the work that we do to make sure we’re not bringing our own ‘stuff’ into the therapy space.
For all these reasons (and more!), therapy is not just talking, it can provide a uniquely different relational experience.
Myth 4: It’s just about the past…
If the goal of therapy is to find strategies to cope with present life, perhaps the past isn’t important. Or is it?
The thing is, sometimes the past lives on in what we believe and how we behave today. And this isn’t always immediately obvious to us.
Yes, healthier ways of coping are important. But just doing that is a bit like putting a sticking plaster over a wound. The wound still needs to heal.
So no, therapy is not just about the past. And I certainly believe in helping clients work toward future directions if that's important to them. But also being open to exploring the past presents an opportunity for rich learning and growth, which can benefit your future.
Myth 5: It’s about ‘fixing’ you…
You don’t need to be ‘fixed’.
The language of fixing relates to a medical understanding of mental health. You come to therapy, and you’re treated i.e. made better.
But therapy isn’t done to you. This would assume that you have no power. Or any role to play in the process. It’s not a passive endeavour as we often experience in the medical world.
Therapy is not fixing but honouring your uniqueness and difference by ‘working with’ you to find the best ways of alleviating your struggles.
Myth 6: It's for the weak...
This one’s loaded with judgement. Society is riddled with social comparison – mental health is no different. If we don’t judge ourselves, somebody will do it for us.
If you have anything positive in your life, what could you possibly have to be sad about! “How could you need therapy?” Other people are worse off than you etc.
This line of reasoning leads nowhere other than you not getting the support you deserve, as you don’t feel like you meet some arbitrary standard of ‘need’.
Oh, and you can ‘be positive’, thankful for what you have, get on with life AND have difficult feelings at the same time.
Recognising that you need support is not weak. It's acknowledging that you’re human. And suffering sometimes is inherently human.
Conclusion
So - among other myths - therapy is for the weak or defective and it's just talking and/or listening. You may have heard some of these myths or even repeated them yourself. But I hope to have shed some light on the process by debunking some common myths, showing that reaching out for therapy doesn't have to be scary.
On a similar theme please also read my blog below:
I hope that you found this blog informative and helpful. If you would like some support with an issue (big, medium-sized, or small) please visit my website to find out more about me and my services or book a call below.